There’s a journey you have to take – a paddle to shore – a trip through your sharkinfested mind. It’s your journey from dark to light – from fear to love – from nowhere to everywhere.
Reach down now and dip your hand into those dark swirling waters. Start a ripple. Make a stir. Embrace the danger and adrenalin blending inside of you. That’s the energy of your pure life force waking up. It’s YOU moving from lost at sea to found again.
Dip in with your hand now – palm facing behind you. Wave away what’s done and gone. You will move forward. Pain is part of this ride. You knew that going in. Let divine grace push you into the current now. Surrender. You’ll find your new posse on the shore. You’ll find your good work once you let go.
This ride to shore could last a lifetime. You may forget to breathe. There will be terrible storms along the way. You’ll cry while you paddle. And there will be days when the sea is calm and the sky glorious and nothing else matters. You will get lost.
But soon you’ll see your loved ones standing on the shore in the glow of sunlight beckoning to you. You’ll wave your arms and shout with joy. And you’ll remember something long forgotten.
Once you’re ashore, the waves will shimmer like diamonds and you won’t understand what held you back. Nothing. Nothing ever held you back. Maybe you forgot to breathe. Maybe you cried. But nothing ever stood in your way.
Perched on your board now, sitting in the deep-water channel, you won’t want to move. Shore will look so far away. Beyond hopeless. Your arms will ache in anticipation. You’ll see the impossible journey ahead and reject it before you begin.
I’m not strong enough, smart enough, good enough to do this, you’ll whisper to the wind. You may even turn your board around to face the wide open sea with its unknown pleasures, invisible islands beckoning, promises of salvation from the wrong direction. But taking that course will only lead you into a bigger storm and a longer paddle to shore through shark infested waters.
Yes, the sharks will circle. But they’re afraid of your strength. They feed on fear. When you fight back you survive. When you quit paddling, soul-eating monsters will feast on your heart. And your heart is your lifejacket, your one good surfboard to freedom, your only hope.
Lift your gaze from their dark fins. See the moon above you like a gem in the night. Kiss that blessed moon. Take it for a waltz. Reach up and wave your arms like the symphony conductor you came here to be. Move the stars with your grief and craft them into your personal sonata. This midnight song from the depths of your heartbreak will be the masterpiece of your life.
When the sun begins to rise you’ll find more strength. You’ll push harder against the waves. You’ll move forward in leaps. But nothing happens until you dip in. Dip your hand into the dark scary water, my sister. It will save you, my brother.
Dip in. Dip in now. Take one stroke with your aching arms. Move forward one inch. One inch is everything. One stroke is your entire world. One more stroke is your entire future. A current will catch you, my beloved. It’s always something you didn’t expect. Didn’t believe in.
You’ll find yourself gliding forward effortlessly now. You’ll sit back for a moment and breathe. You’ll scan the vast horizon in front of you. It looks closer than you thought. Anything is possible, you’ll whisper – even if you don’t truly believe it.
Now you’re beginning to feel strong. You’ll dip into the dark water over and over. No longer afraid. Focused only on the shore. You understand now. You see the journey for what it is – a brief ride to shore that requires everything you have and makes you strong. It pulls you into light – the light you’ve always longed for but didn’t know what you were missing. Didn’t know where your homesickness came from. Your deep sorrow. Your endless longing. It was all for this.
This IS the journey home. It’s the only journey to take. It’s underneath you and in front of you. Dip in my friend. There’s nowhere else to go. These swirling waters will soon turn into grateful tears. Those last yards to the shore are shallow and clear. You see the beauty of each life with each stroke you take.
When you come ashore, you’ll fall into the arms of your beloveds. There will be bonfires and dancing barefoot in the sweet sand. Your lovers from past, present and future will hold you. They’ll whisper tender words into your ears. The ones who once broke your heart completely will now hold you tightly while you cry.
You’ll share stories around the fire. These will be the greatest stories you’ve ever heard or ever told. It will all make sense – the shark-infested waters, the nights of dark despair and the endless longing.
You will find this shore without a compass, without a lover, without a mother, you’ll find your way. You’ll find it because you once dipped your trembling hand into the dark water and shoved your board forward into the storm.
You can lie down then laughing on the beach – looking up into the eyes of your beloveds. Running the soft sand through your fingers. “Were there really sharks?” You’ll ask. And you’ll laugh out loud at the sound of your own words.
When you find all of your people standing in a circle around you – the ones you thought you’d never see again and the ones you weren’t sure even existed – your heart will break wide open, shattering everything into a million tiny pieces of light – like diamonds reflected on the open waves guiding someone else to shore.